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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27417715">'I love you'</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/LinaRai/pseuds/LinaRai'>LinaRai</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supernatural</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Canonical Character Death, Episode: s15e18 Despair, I'm Sorry, M/M, Spoilers</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 23:14:38</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>420</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27417715</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/LinaRai/pseuds/LinaRai</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"I love you."</p><p>Dean just stares at him.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Castiel/Dean Winchester</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>106</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>'I love you'</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“I love you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dean just stares at him. Tilts his head, copying the action he had seen the angel do so many times. So many things have been said, so many emotions fighting for attention. Dean can feel his brain as it struggles to catch up, to process everything that is going on.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So far, he is only at the ‘</span>
  <em>
    <span>Cas is going to die’ </span>
  </em>
  <span>stage.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t do this, Cas.” he begs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He can barely see, his eyes brimming with tears that he refuses to spill. They have been through so much, and they always came back. They always found some way out. Cas could not die here.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then, the last sentence finally clicks into place. Cas loves him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Castiel, angel of the Lord. The man who </span>
  <em>
    <span>gripped him tight and raised him from perdition.</span>
  </em>
  <span> The man who was with him through everything, who was Dean’s family, who Dean would die for in a heartbeat. Loyal, caring, faithful, brilliant Cas. And he loved Dean.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The words catch in Dean’s throat. There are so many things he wants to say, so many feelings that he doesn’t have time to admit to. His throat tightens and constricts like a snake, strangling him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Cas-” he manages, but it is too late. Time waits for no man, not even Dean Winchester.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Goodbye, Dean.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>In the movies, when someone dies, their whole life flashes before their eyes. Dean had always thought - given he had more experience in the subject of death than most - that that was bullshit. There was the pain, and maybe some regrets, and then there was nothing. But as he watched the inky blackness, from his position on the floor, a bloody handprint mirroring a memory from so long ago, Dean saw every choice he had ever made.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>What if he had never gone to pick up Sam from college? What if he had just let Sam die instead of making that deal? What if he had never gone to Hell? Would he have ever met Cas? There were a million moments where he could have chosen differently. Would that have ended in more bloodshed? Or would that have ended in something else, something better? Had there ever been a possibility, somewhere, of them being able to live a peaceful life? A possibility of Cas saying ‘</span>
  <em>
    <span>I love you’, </span>
  </em>
  <span>not as a deathbed confession, but a greeting? A good morning, a goodnight, a hello, a goodbye.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He watched as Cas disappeared, and he thought about what could have been, and he cried.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Oh boy, when I woke up this morning, I did not expect Destiel to have gone canon. I've been a complete mess all day. I don't even know what is happening anymore, but I wanted to write something, so this got born in my Criminology lesson.</p><p>I'm sorry, and if anyone wants to talk, feel free to message me on tumblr. It's @fanfic-corner.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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